Emotions

Some of my students. They
are relaxing while they
watch Mr. Bean.

My time here in Pond Inlet, Nunavut, is quickly coming to an end. I am working through my final week at Nasiviik, and I'm starting to feel emotional at the thought of leaving the kids. Will I be able to go back to teaching in a school where I don't hear my name being called throughout the hallways? "Hello Sarah!" "Sarah!" "Hi Sarah". It's nice being so popular.

The students I am with really value their teacher. She is the one constant in their young lives. I heard one of the students remark that her hair wasn't as fluffy as it usually is. Even that small amount of change set off fear and discomfort for them.

I had a member of the community who was subbing at our school remark that they weren't feeling like their self. I should have wished them a speedy recovery, but I asked them what's wrong.
"Oh, are you sick?"
"No."
"Tired?"
"No, I'm hungover."
- I was dumbfounded. Why was she telling me this? Just yesterday I heard her say she was behind in a years worth of laundry. Now she is confessing that she is hung over.
"My students said they could smell it off of me."
- I'm mortified. I'm looking around the staff room for someone to hear this and pull me away.
"Ah. Well it's self-inflicted. No sympathy from me then! (Smile to show you're not freaking out) Better have some coffee."


I later found out from my Co-op teacher that she is the mother of one of my students. At that point my heart had broke and all I could do was cry. I cried for these poor young people who are in a cycle of abuse. Because their parents or grandparents were abused when they were sent away to residential schools; Because their parents or grandparents were ripped away from their families and never learned how to become parents; Because "hitting" was not the Inuit way and it was something they learned through the qallunaat (the term all outsiders are given, but it is directed at whites) - because of all those reasons and more, a lot of my students are experiencing things that I have never. They are experiencing things I couldn't even imagine, and yet they come to school as often as they can because here at school they are safe. At school they are taken care of. At school they are told that they matter.

It is a lot of responsibility to take on, especially at the age of 23. I really respect my Co-op teacher. She fully understands her students, and yet she doesn't make excuses for them. She loves each and every student, and she strives to make each child feel special. Is this something I can take on in August/September? Am I mature enough to take on their issues? How can I worry about the curriculum when I hear what my students are going through? Can I teach during the hours of 8-4, be everything they need me to be, and then leave that all behind when I exit the school doors? These are all questions that I am trying to answer.

It was a really emotional day for me.  I have a new respect and love for these kids. I hope they see how much I like them.